The regulars.Ranked by attendance, not talent.
Everyone here has shown up at least twenty Mondays. That is the only qualification. Height, handles and cardio were not considered.
03 · Personnel file| No. | Name | Position | Since | Scouting report | Status |
|---|---|---|---|---|---|
| 01 | Sean | Point / Commissioner | 2017 | Runs the group chat and the offense. Calls fouls no one else saw. Hip status: classified. | Founder |
| 02 | Marcus | Wing | 2017 | Shoots it from anywhere and means it. Passes once a quarter, as a treat. | Regular |
| 03 | Big Ray | Center | 2018 | Sets screens that count as assault in three states. Has never left the paint. | Regular |
| 04 | Dev | Guard | 2018 | Fastest guy here. Also the latest guy here. Arrives mid-warmup, leaves mid-argument. | Regular |
| 05 | Kyle | Forward | 2019 | Brings both shirts every week and reminds you that he brought both shirts. | Regular |
| 06 | Jamal | Wing | 2020 | Plays real defense, which is considered rude here. Tolerated because he rebounds. | Regular |
| 07 | Tony | Guard | 2021 | Claims a 40-inch vertical. Evidence remains under review. | Probation |
| 08 | Pete | Whatever is open | 2022 | Says "my bad" 30 times a night. Is, in fact, always his bad. | Regular |
Want on the list? Show up twenty times. Bring both shirts. Don't ask Sean about the hip.